The Barefoot Runner

I never got around to my post-marathon-post, did I?

Well, to be honest, I wasn't happy with my marathon performance.  I was about 20 minutes slower than the year before.  I started too fast, I hit the wall earlier, and I didn't have a good time.  I felt pretty disappointed and defeated, unsure if I would ever go through this process again.  I stopped running for several months.

Fast forward to this week. LTB and I drove cross-country to see his family.  We always drive, as travel can be a lot more fun when you don't treat it like something that has to be done and over with as soon as possible.  One of the benefits is that we listen to a lot of audio books, and it's really great to experience a book with someone else in real time, pausing the mp3 every so often to share thoughts and comments.

One of the books we listened to was Born to Run, by Christopher McDougall.  What an absolutely fantastic book.  I definitely recommend it to every runner, and everyone who thinks they hate running.

I think Amazon can summarize the book better than me, but what I took away from it is that my approach to running this last marathon was all wrong. I kept trying to figure out ways to distract myself from what I was doing -- listening to music, planning out my day, writing lyrics in my head -- anything but being present in the moment. Throughout training, running felt like something I had to get over with, something in the way of the rest of my life. Too focused on times and outcomes instead of paying attention to the moment.

So completely off from where I need to be.  Today, LTB and I went for a run in the woods.  No watches, no iPods, no expectations. I took my shoes off a little ways in.  Barefoot, as in, naked feet.  It felt amazing, invigorating. My knee pain, which reappeared as soon as I hit the trail in my sneakers, disappeared as soon as I slipped my shoes off.  I felt like a kid again, and remembered that running is freaking fun and we are designed to do this.  We ran for about an hour, slipping my shoes on and off periodically, after barely working out for months.  I felt so completely in the moment.  Because, when you're dodging pointy sticks on the path, it's kind of impossible to think about anything else.  

It'll take a while before I can run with bare feet for any significant amount of time, but I am really into it.  I'm usually quite suspicious and very reluctant to follow trends. This feels right to me.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Right now, I got my eye on the Portland, Maine 2013 marathon.  It's at the end of September, so training isn't through the winter.  Maybe I'll do it barefoot.  But, I should probably run barefoot more than 20 minutes before I make any bold statements.

Get me to the finish line, Lady Gaga

This time tomorrow, the marathon will be over. Ready or not, I'm running 26.2 miles.

I'm feeling pretty great, actually.  For the last couple runs this week, I felt energized, light on my feet, and more excited than panicked.  The speed training on Wednesday involved a series of 400 meter sprints, which I ran faster than I have throughout this entire training.  Each 400 around 1:40-1:50 -- not terribly fast for a sprinter, but great for me.

Sporting my new KBVCM shirt before my final run

Today I did a quick 3-mile run.  They say it's good to run the day before the race, so I saved this one for today.  I was supposed to run it at my planned marathon pace, which felt soooo slow for a 3-mile run.

It's fairly warm and humid again today (around 80° right now), and breathing wasn't entirely comfortable.
Tomorrow's high is 76 and partly cloudy.  It looks like it'll be in the 50s for the start of the run, which is absolutely perfect.  I'm grateful.  The hard thing with this training is that the majority of it seemed to be in the winter, or at least cool spring weather.  I don't feel like I've had enough time to get used to running in the heat.  I'm not quite sure how to deal with this for future marathons, when we may not be so lucky with the weather.

The rest of this day will involve consuming tons of water and gatorade, eating carbs, stretching, and not doing much else.

For the marathon, I decided that I'm going to listen to music for the last half.  Last time, I didn't listen to music at all, believing the crowd would adequately energize me.  Unfortunately, after 13 or so miles, the cheers from the bystanders become more annoying than motivating, and I mostly want to be left alone.  The idea is that when I start up my playlist, it will reset my mindset.

Behind the cut is my well thought out, tested throughout training, and slightly embarrassing list of songs that will get me to to the finish line.  I've never listened to so much pop music before this year's training.  At least I balanced it out with some pre-nose-job Hole.

This two-hour long play list will not be played in order.  I'm all about the shuffle.  You know, the list seems to be too short, but Spotify says it's 2 hours.  It is somehow comforting that 2 hours of music doesn't look like that much.

I think I may need to go back and add some Dolly Parton.

running out of time

Holy crap, the marathon is one week from today.  I have no idea where the time went, and I can't really believe it's going to happen.

The last couple weeks have been a little rough.  Ever since the 20 mile run 2 weeks ago, my energy level has gone way down.  However, I did complete the 20 mile run!  This is huge as I actually never completed a 20-mile run (without stopping to walk), well, ever.  During the training two years ago, I never made it past 17 miles.  Even during the marathon, I walked/ran the last 8 miles.  It felt good.  Exhausting, of course, but I felt prepared for it.

I did, however, run out of water and stopped in a corner store at the 17.5 mile mark to buy a gatorade.  That whole experience was strange.  I feel completely insane after running anything more than 15 miles.  But, as soon as I had my gatorade, I finished the last 2.5 miles no problem.

The following week, I began to show signs of overtraining - heavy legs, increased perceived exertion, and probably the worst bit was being rather unmotivated to run the longer runs.  Fearing that I may have already peaked, I cut back my running a little bit this week.  I played a few rounds of disc golf in place of one of the runs.

Then, I headed down to Montpelier to run in a 5K on Thursday, which was interesting.  My time was not fantastic - something like 27:30 (8:50ish mile).  I really should be running a 5K closer to 25 minutes, but I suppose that's not what I've been training for.  It was hard to get the right pace, and there were SO many people it was tricky to pass.  The nice thing about the marathon is that there's plenty of time for the crowd to space out.  The first 2 or 3 miles are a bit cramped and chaotic, with slower folks moving way too closer to the start line and faster runners underestimating themselves.

Today I attempted to run 8 miles.  I started too late in the morning, and it got way too hot and humid.  At the moment, it's a cozy 87 degrees.  I made it 6.5 miles before I stopped to walk.  I just felt like I couldn't breathe and I was going to pass out.  I really hope it's not this hot next Sunday.  I don't know what I'll do, besides drink an absurd amount of water.  Right now, wunderground is showing a high of 70 and partly cloudy for marathon day.  I can live with that, but what the hell do they know this far in advance?

At the moment I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit discouraged and anxious about the marathon.  With the fatigue, and the lousy 5K, and today's run, I'm afraid of failure, although I'm not sure exactly what that means apart from a DNF.  I do believe I am stubborn enough to get to that finish line one way or another, even if I'm finishing on my knees.

I have readjusted my goals.  Originally I wanted to finish the marathon in under 4 hours.  With how training has been going, I think that 4:15 (9:44/mile) is more realistic, and still faster than 2009's time.  More than that, I want to run the entire time (apart from slowing/stopping to drink liquids, of course).  That is the main goal.  They do have pace leaders at the marathon.  Last time I couldn't actually FIND them, but I will make more of an effort this time.

Sigh.  I can do this, right?

Hills and Frills

Following last week's 16-mile run, I had a bit of a breather with a 12-mile run yesterday. It's strange to think that I'm now at the point that 12 miles doesn't feel like a big deal. However, I'm not thrilled about next week's 18-mile run. That sounds impossible. Will I ever stop thinking like this?

Poor LTB's feet are in bad shape. He went down to PA to visit some friends for a few days and returned without his sneakers. His friend will ship them back, but we still had the 16-miler to contend with. Like a rockstar, LTB slipped on his Vibram FiveFingers and hit the pavement. He got the barefoot shoes last summer and has walked all over town with him, but this was the first time he ran for a long distance.

I don't know how, but he made it 14 miles before he started walking, practically leaving a trail of blood on the sidewalk. He took pictures upon returning home, but I'll save you the gross-out and post the day-after-bandaged-feet instead.

He's managed to continue with all the scheduled runs, and he's slowly healing. Blisters are the worst. A few weeks ago, I had some bad ones on the back of my heels thanks to my fairly new Doc Martins, and then my sock slipped down my heel at some point during the run. It hurt a lot, but enough to block it out and continue running. By the time I got home my sock was soaked in blood. That's alway nice to see. Ah, the joys of running.

A weird thing happened during yesterday's run. It was a Saturday, which meant there lots of people downtown, and lots of bikers, pedestrians, dogs, etc. on the bike path. I turned the corner onto the waterfront path, and suddenly found myself surrounded by runners with bibs pinned to their clothing. I suddenly panicked, feeling for sure that I was not where I was supposed to be, and someone would be escorting me off the path at any second.

Not to worry, it was the Burlington Unplugged half-marathon. I actually ran this a couple years ago, and remembered my frustrations with the number of non-racers on the path. That's kind of the deal with this race. I thought about doing it again this year, but wanted to save the money, and completely forgot about it until I was pretty much in it.

It was kind of fun. Conveniently, I was running 12 miles, about the length of the race. People were cheering on, trying to pass me, handing out water (I didn't take any, feeling certain someone would call me a fraud. 4 miles later, when I ran out of my water and off the race path, I regretted this decision).

My times have been ... acceptable. I don't feel I'm as fast as I want to be, and I'm afraid I won't make my sub-4-hour goal. For long runs, I'm closer to 10 minutes/mile than 9:10. I know I still have time, and ultimately, I think it's more important that I finish the thing and run the whole time without any injury.

I have noticed that when I do time my runs (which I do most of the time), my minutes per mile is definitely related to the changes in elevation, which I suppose is not too surprising. I'm also not sure if I've measured my miles correctly, but that's a different story. So, when I'm running a mile that's level or downhill, I can do it under 9 minutes, even if I'm on my 11th mile (the 15th mile may be a different story). However, the hill on Battery Street? The 6-block half-mile hill that is the bane of my existence? That takes that mile up to like 10:15.

Obviously there's hills in the marathon, including the Assault on Battery. I don't even know how I managed to do the first half of the 2010 marathon in under 2 hours. But I did. Let's see if I can do it again.

sticky fingers

Today I completed a 14-mile run, the run yet this year. It went pretty well. My pacing has become a lot more consistent, and I'm right where I'm supposed to be, which is 45-60 seconds over my planned marathon pace.

My feet are killing me. My legs feel a bit stiff, but not too bad. I did devote about 20 minutes to stretching after the run. I probably would have done more, but I really wanted to jump in the shower.

New this year is a bottle belt, which has been great. I remember seeing these on runners now and then, and I always thought they looked kind of silly. But now I'm not sure how I ever ran without them. I filled all four bottles up with gatorade, and then had an additional 12-ounce bottle hidden at the 12 mile mark (also conveniently by my apartment). It seemed to be the perfect amount of liquid for 14 miles.

Speaking of things I used to think were silly, let's talk about gatorade. In 2010, I was convinced that all sports drinks were simply sugary drinks that people consume when they want to feel slightly healthier than they do drinking soda. A bunch of overpriced propaganda for "athletes" to buy into, and defeat the purpose of the exercise in consuming all those calories. I ended up creating my own concoction, with water, juice and honey. It was kind of gross. So, this year, LTB bought a jug of powdered gatorade that he prepares before the run (meanwhile, I make our post-run smoothie.* Making the smoothie before the run and storing it in the fridge is the best idea ever).

It turns out that gatorade during the run is incredibly refreshing, energizing, and completely essential. Electrolytes or whatever, right? Water alone simply does not cut it for runs over an hour. I tried to find a link to verify this fact, but my computer isn't cooperating. So, either trust me or Google it up.

On that note, LTB did pick up some other gatorade products as part of their "G-Series." It was crap and a waste of money. That "pre-game" fuel made me nauseous and I felt weighed down for the first couple miles. No more of that, just plain old gatorade, even though it does make my fingers and face terribly sticky by the end of the run.

Did I seriously run 14 miles? It's kind of unbelievable. I felt tired towards the end, but I felt like I had my head in the right place, always remembering to only count the miles I'd finished, not how many I have left. Somehow, thinking, "woah, I already ran 5 miles! That wasn't so bad," is much much more comforting than thinking, "I have 9 miles left. Not even half way there." The latter line of thinking needs to be avoided as much as possible, for sure.

*Ingredients for my amazing smoothies: I've tried changing it up, but it doesn't get better than this: frozen strawberries, bananas, spoonful of peanut butter, couple spoonfuls of Cabot greek vanilla yogurt, almond milk, and whatever juice we have on hand -- usually grapefruit or orange.

Hello March

I've been slacking on keeping this updated over the last couple of weeks. Every run, I think about all I want to write about, and then I come home and have to go straight back to work after the shower. See, I got a new job, and I'm getting lots of overtime, which is great. Not so great for blogging. Well, the job is slowing down now, so I'm back.

I have some practicing to do, so this will be quick. Today, I had a 6 mile tempo run: 1 mile warm up, 4 miles at midtempo pace (for me, 8:15/mile was the goal), 1 mile cool down.

The snow was coming down pretty hard, but it wasn't too bad. I was getting used to the sunny 40° weather. Today was the first day I had to run with my gloves in a few weeks. It was cold enough that I didn't want to take off my gloves until after the second timed mile, so I'm not sure how fast I ran the first mile. Here's the breakdown:

Miles 1-2: 17:46 (8:53/mile)

Mile 3: 8:20

Mile 4: 8:39

Overall average: 8:37/mile

I'm falling a short of the goal, but that's fine. I can tell I'm working hard, and that's the point, right? In January, the best 4-mile run I completed averaged a 9:20 mile. I dropped an average of 33 seconds off each mile, all while running an easy mile on each side of the 4-miler. Not too bad. It's good to keep track of these things so I don't feel too discouraged when I don't meet the daily goals.

The last two long runs (9 and 10 miles), I ran at or below the goal speed, so I feel great about that. I can tell the tempo runs and the speed training is paying off.

Another victory: I made it through January and February without running on a treadmill! Every damn mile was outside, and it was great. Take that winter.

Overall, no stomach issues, no knee problems, no injuries at all right now. I still hate speed training, but the long runs are fantastic and I actually look forward to them. I'm doing pretty damn good. I know this training process will have its low points, so it's important to note the good times.

bragging rights

Real quick post to keep track of my times for the tempo run today. Goal: 1 mile easy, 5 miles at planned marathon pace (PMP), 1 mile easy. My PMP is 9:10. I think today is the first time I actually made my goal! Here's how I did. Much better on the pacing this time around. I think the differences in times have more to do with my inability to hit the "lap" button on the iPhone stop watch at the *exact* invisible mile marker. Obviously this would be easier on a tread mill, but what fun is that?

Mile 1: 8:59

Mile 2: 9:32

Mile 3: 9:05

Mile 4: 9:45

Mile 5: 8:41

Total: 46:02 (9:12/mile)

I can tell the speed training is paying off. Once again, I had speed training on Tuesday, and I hated it. 4 x 800m, 2 minute rest interval. Today, however, I was able to think to myself, "this feels a bit better than speed training, but I'm still working hard, this must be the perfect pace." And it was! Hurray! I'm totally proud of my run today.

Week 1 of Official Marathon Training: Done

Today I completed an 8-mile run, the longest yet this year. It actually felt pretty great. I get a little scared each time I take on increased mileage, which makes completing it all the more satisfying.

It's weird to think that I've done all this before, but there's still a nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me this is impossible, that I simply don't have the constitution, the body, the willpower to make it through this. I think this is the reason why people run marathons. I know it is for me. Because I can think back on this at any point in my life, whenever things seem impossible, and remember that that nagging voice is nothing but a scared, ignorant, lying source of misinformation. It's sounds corny as hell, but seriously, there have been countless times when I've thought to myself, "I ran a goddamn marathon. I can do anything."

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm doing the "train less, run faster" program, which started this week. As I was warned, just because I'm training less days a week, this does NOT make it any easier. This is freaking hard, and I am feeling pushed right to the edge of my ability. However, I am hugely grateful for having a day off in between runs. I ran Monday/Wednesday/Friday and did yoga on Tuesday and Thursday. Not surprisingly, my knee pain is GONE. Like magic. Even after the 8-miler today, I feel great. I didn't even need ice.

So, Monday involved speed training. 10-20 minute warmup (about 1.5 miles jogged slowly, followed by stretching), then 3 x 1600 meters (1 mile) at a 10K-45 second pace, 1 minute rest intervals. End with 10 minute cool down. I thought this would be easy! Only three miles? And I get a whole minute to rest in between? Piece of cake. My pace was supposed to be 7:15/mile -- quite fast for me, but I'm only doing one mile at a time, so how hard could it be?

I was hoping to run on a track, but that proved trickier to find than anticipated. I called UVM's athletic department to ask if I could use their track and got no response. I then called Burlington High School, and they said it was cool so long as the gate was unlocked, which they said it should be. Drove down there early afternoon, and it was locked. Argh. SO, I went down to the waterfront instead, as they at least have mile markers on the bike path. I was hoping to run on some rubber, but had to deal with the asphalt once again.

Once warmed up on the bike path, I began the first run, iPhone in hand to measure the miles. Turns out I really need a watch, or a stopwatch. The iPhone screen turns off, and it's too easy to accidentally hit the pause button on the touch screen. Plus I kept yanking my headphones out of my ears. I gave up on music by the third mile.

For the first mile, I felt like I was running fast as hell, but I made it in 7:30-ish. I felt exhausted. The one minute of rest FLEW by and I felt like I was still gasping for air on the second mile. "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this," is what ran through my mind. I finished the second and third miles in about 8 minutes. I felt really uncomfortable and unhappy the whole time. This is very different from the long distance running I'm used to. Plus side? It went by really fast, I guess.

Day #2: easy 2 miles, 2 miles at 10K pace, easy 2 miles. I was wary about running 6 miles for the first time, but I actually really liked this run. The easy miles were, well, easy and quite enjoyable. I didn't quite make my desired 10K pace (8 minutes), and was closer to 9 minutes. We'll work on that.

Day #3: 8 miles at planned marathon pace + 30 seconds. For me, that's 9:40/mile. This was actually great. The weather was absolutely gorgeous -- about 40 degrees and soooo sunny. I think this is my favorite running weather. Just perfect. The run was challenging, but I felt prepared for it. Now, I have GOT to work on my pacing. With the "lap" feature on the iPhone stopwatch, I tried to capture my times for each mile. After the fourth mile, it looked like it wasn't letting me do that any more -- turns out it just scrolled down and I could have kept using it. So, I only got the first 5 miles, and it's obvious that I'm all over the place and not great with pacing.

Overall, my time was about 81 minutes, or 10:07/mile. I don't have the exact time because a) I didn't start running the second I hit "start" and, b) my phone froze at the end of the run for about 30 seconds. Here's the breakdown. This looks ridiculous:

Mile 1: 10:00

Mile 2: 9:11

Mile 3: 10:44

Mile 4: 9:47

Mile 5: 9:21

Miles 6-8: 32 minutes (10:40/mile)

Miles 3 and 6 involved a ridiculous hill on Battery Street -- 6 solid blocks of a relatively steep decline/incline. This is actually what runners face at the 15th mile of the Burlington Marathon, affectionally referred to as the "assault on battery." I figured I should get a handle on it so it doesn't wipe me out like it did in 2010. It's surprising that running DOWNhill (mile 3) slowed me down so much. I think I was holding back as I saw it as an excuse to conserve my energy, but there's no excuse for that time. I'm assuming that running up the hill on mile 6 slowed me down to about 12 minutes, and I ran 7 and 8 in 10 minutes each. I felt like I was crawling up that thing. It's pretty damn tricky.

Week 1 is done. I feel great. I love how breathing feels after a long run. My lungs feel so open, like I was never really breathing before. Have I mentioned how much more energy I have now? How I can climb the multiple flights of stairs to my apartment without being out of breath? Life is good.

I won't do what you tell me, KNEES

I can't tell if my knee is getting better or not. Well, my left knee, which was originally the reason I went to my doctor, feels great now. Now it's my right knee that is killing me. I told my physical therapist this, and we were both stumped as to how this happened.

On Tuesday, my PT put some tape on my knee in a funny design. I had not realized there was such an art to this. She used a fancy type of tape that will stay on my knee for several days, through showers and all. My Wednesday run felt a lot better. I really felt like it was all getting worked out and I could cancel the rest of my PT appointments. Today I thought I'd give LTB's knee compression wrap a shot, as he didn't need it and I was feeling desperate for quick fixes. Unfortunately, it made my knee feel a lot worse -- probably the worst it's ever felt. I've since stretched, iced, and took some Aleve, and now it's feeling fine.

I'm sick of this.

In my unprofessional opinion, I think the wrap made my knee feel worse because it forced my leg to stay straighter and bend in a weird fashion, which I think only served to exaggerate the way my foot slightly turns out when I run. But, I don't really know what I'm talking about.

I'll keep on doing the exercises and stretches recommended by my PT. Tomorrow is a rest day, and I plan on practicing some serious yoga. Even with the pre and post-run stretching, my legs feel so incredibly tight. It's ridiculous. I have to think that this is part of the problem.

I'm glad my PT hasn't recommended that I stop running completely, and didn't tell me to cut down my runs during the last visit. My doctor didn't seem too concerned, and didn't do any x-rays or MRIs. Of course, I have to go and read a bunch of medical articles on the internet, self-diagnose, and convince myself that I need surgery and I'll soon be unable to walk. The internet is a dangerous place, people. I suppose I should trust the professionals to do what they do.

As for running times, even when I'm in pain I'm hovering around 37-38 minutes for the 4-mile run. I had one 35-minute run last week, which I was happy about and felt like I could have continued if not for these frustrating joints. I'm stubborn about running the entire time, and I've nearly made it through the month of base training - just two more 4-mile runs this week. The real training begins next week.

I realize I haven't shared the training plan with this blog yet! So, I'm going with the 3 days a week, "Train Less, Run Faster" program. Yup, only three days a week, with cross-training 2-3 days a week. I plan on doing A LOT of power yoga. I really think this plan will be beneficial for my joints, and I'm excited about the transition. I have definitely noticed that my knee(s) feel a whole lot better after taking a day off, and this program will allow for 1-2 days off between every run. Never running 2 days in a row. I think this is what my body wants.

Let's not forget about the music. No contest, the best music for running through the pain like the obstinate runner I am: Rage Against the Machine.

I swear, this song comes on my mp3 player and I my legs turn from agonizing stumps to limbs of an olympic athlete. I also appreciate how long this track is, as compared to my playlist's bookending 2-minute punk rock tunes.

Oh, Tom Morello, you slay me.

two steps back

Sometime between my last post and now, I developed some knee and ankle pain. I don't exactly know what's going on, but I'm not happy about it.

Running outside in the winter is hard on the joints, no doubt. I'd usually spend more time running on the grass next to the sidewalk when possible, but the frozen ground is just as tough on the joints as cement this time of year. Perhaps worse, it seems, as the ground is uneven and ankle rolls are more likely.

Except for the anticipated soreness, my joints were fine for the first couple weeks. Then the pain slowly crept on, mostly in my left knee and right ankle. It hurt the most going down hill. The pain never got excruciating, but it was enough to slow me way down (too stubborn to ever stop and walk). It's kind of hard to describe, but it wasn't always the pain that slowed me down, but often my lack of stability, like my bones were all out of alignment. In the hours following runs, I could barely climb stairs, or bend my knee to get in my car. Walking became quite a chore.

In the last week, I've spent a bit more time stretching after runs, and I've been icing my joints. Ibuprofen is magical - although I've been trying to run without it so I can actually tell if I'm hurting myself or getting better. It has improved a bit, but I still don't feel 100%. The feeling that you could go faster, if only it weren't for joint pain, is really frustrating.

So, as it was clear it wasn't going to go away on its own, I made an appointment with my doctor. My doctor referred me to a physical therapist. I had my first meeting with the PA on Tuesday. She observed how I walked, testing my flexibility and strength. I learned that one of my feet slightly turns out (although not enough to require orthotics), my hips are tight, and my knee is creaking. She recommended some stretches and strength building exercises. She didn't tell me that I needed to stop running (*phew*), but did suggest that I cut back a bit. I don't know, you guys... it sucks to hear this. I'm scheduled to see the PA every week through February.

Today was a rest day, and I did some hip-opening yoga. It felt amazing. I'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow and decide whether or not to do the full 4-mile run. I'm not intentionally trying to rebel or hurt myself, but I stubbornly believe I know my own body. I'll take it day by day.

So frustrating. I just want to go back to improving my times.

like a gazelle

Second run of the third week of base training, and I finally feel like I'm in shape again. I felt that coveted "runner's high" for the first time in a while, as I kept my head up and focused throughout the 4 miles. None of those, "uggh this is awful when is going to stop" thoughts that have been running through my head for the last two weeks. I'm sure those thoughts will be back, though. It was nice to be reminded that running is actually enjoyable!

Before the run, I really wasn't feeling it. I've been running 5 days a week, taking off Tuesday and Friday (always subject to change depending on the weather). The last two days, Saturday and Sunday, were rough. It was absurdly cold. The high on Sunday was 6 ºF, with a low of -8. This morning, when I woke up and checked the temperature, wunderground reported -5. Ack!

Also worth noting is my yesterday was filled with a debilitating migraine. All I could do, for hours, was lie down with a blanket over my eyes. While I'm certainly no doctor and may spend too much time self-diagnosing, I think dehydration may have triggered my first migraine in years. Saturday night, I went out and had a few drinks - first time since NYE, actually. I did not properly rehydrate before passing out (not that I drank all that much). The next day, I don't recall drinking much water, nor consuming more than a sip before jumping in the shower post-run. Before I knew it, scintillating scotoma took over my vision, so I downed a bunch of water and took some excederin, but it was too late. My afternoon was ruined.

So, fully recovered today, I wanted to stay that way and was in no mood to run. But I did anyway, of course. I remember an interview with a competitive marathon runner that I read a while back, where the interviewer asked the runner at the starting line how he was feeling. His response was simple: it doesn't matter. It might come off as cold and callous, but I find it somehow calming and zen-like. It's true. It doesn't matter how I'm feeling before a run, not emotionally anyway. Obviously physical problems are a different story, but when I'm running, but those silly thoughts and emotions are a different story. I'm going to run anyway. I might be cranky, scared, tired, enthusiastic, optimistic - it's irrelevant. Just run.

I wish I could find the interview. I think it was in Runner's World like 2 years ago.

Today, I just ran. I lost myself in the moment, and it felt great. The temperature increased to a balmy 15 ºF, and I did feel the difference. I felt like I could use that energy normally devoted to shivering to, you know, running. I can tell that running in this frigid air is going to pay off come spring time.

And, I had my best time yet for the 4-mile run: 37:30. Still, at 9:20/mile, I'm not quite at my 8:00/mile goal, but I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

we have been through worse than this, and we will live to laugh 'bout this

When I woke up this morning, I realized I didn't have my usual breakfast available, so I improvised with what I had and came up with banana pancakes and maple syrup. It was delicious, but I should know better than to switch up my routine before a run.

After breakfast, I headed to the grocery store, and the snow really started to come down. Concerned that it might get out of control, as it is January and Vermont is ripe for a snowstorm, the decision was made to start running as soon as possible.

So, about 2 hours after my filling breakfast, dressed and ready to head out the door, my stomach began to groan and grumble. This was not a good sign. I told LTB to start without me, as I was afraid of traveling too far from my bathroom. Alone in the apartment, I paced back and forth, in a bit of a panic. I felt like I really needed to get the run done before there was more than a couple inches of snow, but I am seriously afraid of having an emergency situation in the middle of a run. The fear makes my stomach feel worse, of course. It's a vicious cycle.

After hyperventilating for a few minutes, I sucked it up and made my way out the door and into the snow. Within a minute into the run, I forgot there was ever a problem.

The snow really wasn't too bad. The sidewalk was completely covered with about a inch of powder, but it wasn't too slick. It was kind of like running on sand - easier on the joints, but it also felt like it slowed me down and took more energy. All the better for training.

I got my new headphones today! These ear buds, to be exact. They're fantastic. So comfortable, great sound, and (sort of) noise canceling so I can keep the levels at a reasonable volume (does that make me sound old? whatever, ask me about my experience with tinnitus). AND, they stay in place, in my ear the whole run. This is huge. Not a lot of earphones do that for me and my tiny ears.

Oh, running with music is so much better. So much more fun and motivating. Currently, this is my favorite energy-boosting tune that I can rely on to move my feet to a sprint for the last half mile or so: Me Vs. Angry Mob, by The World/Inferno Friendship Society. I feel like I'm right there with Jack Terricloth, being chased down the street by an angry mob, hopping fences and running through restaurants. And, oh, that horn line! Puts a goofy smile on my face, every time.

Get home safely

I will, I do, I always do

My time today was 40 minutes - stuck at that 10 minute/mile pace. Oh, it's a bit frustrating. I know I can't expect that I'll jump right back into 8 minute miles after being so lazy for the last year. But, I think back to the week before the 2010 marathon, when we were in the tapering phase and the 4-mile run felt like the Easiest Thing Ever, and my time was far closer to 30 minutes than 40 minutes. I'm only on week 2. Only week 2. I have to keep that in mind. No point in feeling bad about it, but at the same time, it is motivating to know that I'm Capable of much better.

The Paranoid Runner

For run #3 this week, I forewent the waterfront run for a path that starts and ends at my apartment. It was nice to not have to drive before/after the run, and the sidewalks are a bit better maintained than the bike path. However, I'm not a huge fan of running next to cars and breathing in exhaust fumes. Fortunately, there are not a lot of intersections or traffic lights on this route, so I didn't have to do that awkward-jogging-in-place-waiting-for-the-walk-sign thing. I hate that.

I'm not going to share my exact running routes on this public blog, for obvious safety reasons. I'm happy to share this with my real life friends, though. Just ask me. On this blog, I also might throw in some mild inaccuracies about where I'm running/live in order to throw off potential stalkers. Am I really that paranoid? I guess so. We live in a strange world. I don't know who's reading this, and I want to keep it public.

Speaking of safety, I was thinking today about other ways I try to keep myself safe on my runs. Running can be dangerous business -- out there on your own, carless, miles away from your home, among cars and strangers and ice. There's a few things I've learned from experience - don't blare my iPod so loud I can't hear anything, stay to the right side of the path (especially when turning corners), run during the day time in populated areas, etc.

One of the scariest things - because I've heard countless recounts of this very thing happening to other runners and causing varying degrees of injuries - is running in front of a car that is making a right turn when the runner is approaching from the right. This most frequently happens at 4-way stop signs and at the end of driveways. I think I do the same thing when I'm driving - if you're taking a right, you look to the left. If it's clear, you go. No need to look to the right. So, if I'm approaching a car in this situation, I'll try to make eye contact with the driver. If they don't look at me, I don't go. If I'm not sure if they're about to drive or not, or if I'm feeling particularly impatient, I'll tap on the passenger-side window or on the hood to get their attention. It's easier when it's warmer and their windows are open, and I can just be like, "hi! I exist! don't hit me!" I try to not be annoying, but it's nice to not get hit by a car.

I realized that I haven't mentioned at this point that I am training with my fiance, LTB. "With" used loosely - he runs a bit faster than me. We start out together, maybe the first 1/2 mile, and then he takes off and I fall behind. Sometimes when I tell people that we don't run together, I get a sad face, or LTB gets a judgmental look, like he should slow down and wait for me.

People, come on. We're training for a marathon. Don't give me that.

I think when we started training for the 2010 marathon (my first marathon), I was more bitter about it, like I would enjoy running more and be more motivated if I had someone to run with and chat with the whole time. Eventually I realized that it's far more important for each of us to run at our own pace and work on our times individually. For me at least, long distance running is quite an individualized, private venture.

Also, after running a couple races with others who do run the same pace as me, I realized running with others can often be annoying and not helpful. Sometimes I don't want to talk. Sometimes I want the time think through stuff, or not think at all and get lost in the moment (hence, the pensive runner). Sometimes running puts me in a foul mood and I'm in no mood for small talk.

I take that back. I never enjoy small talk. Even when I'm in a good mood and at a complete rest.

Anyway, having LTB around, even if he's a mile ahead of me, is another safety measure. We tend to run the same path to and from a location, starting and ending our run in the same place. This means that he'll pass me on his way back, and see that I'm still in one piece. I've also asked that if he returns home (or wherever the run began) and he doesn't see me within 15 minutes (or whatever amount of time seems appropriate given the length of the run), to go back and look for me to make sure I'm ok. Of course I didn't really need to ask him to do this, he would anyway - I just like to hear things like this said out loud for my own comfort.

I haven't timed my last two runs. I didn't have my iGadget with me, because my headphones haven't arrived yet. Running without music isn't necessarily a bad thing, I've learned. I think I pay attention to my body more. But running with music is more fun. I hope my new ear buds get here tomorrow.

Running on an Ice Rink, Hyperbolically Speaking

Well, friends, today the path was not slushy. It was icy as hell. I quickly discovered that every area of the bike path that appeared to be wet was, in fact, black ice, and for portions of the path, 99% of the area looked wet.

So, the run turned into bit of an obstacle course - hopping over patches of ice, constantly switching sides of the path, avoiding pedestrians/dogs/bikes/trains, running on grass whenever possible (icy grass has a bit more traction than icy cement, but it's still slick) - it was actually kind of fun. This is another reason why I prefer running outside in the freezing weather over treadmill running: the adventure and unpredictability. Running can be monotonous. Treadmills magnify that quality.

I never know what exactly is going to happen during those 4 miles. Despite the lack of winter upkeep, I love running on the bike path in Burlington. The views are gorgeous, and there are always other people around in case I need emergency care, and there are mile markers on the path (although sometimes covered by snow). There is unfortunately a freight train the crosses the path. I think it's a freight train. Whatever it is, it occasionally parks itself right on the bike path for an indefinite amount of time. This happened last week, at about my third mile. I paced back and forth along the length of the train, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to get around it. It seemed to go on forever. Another runner headed towards me with the same exasperated look on his face, and I asked him if there was a way around the train. Just then, one of the train employees approached us, and asked us two questions: 1) are you going to fall? 2) do you promise to never do this again? Satisfied with our answers, he let us climb a tiny ladder over one of the cars, climbing backwards down the other side before dropping back down to the bike path. As frustrating as it was in the moment to waste so much time at that one spot, it was also pretty exciting and fun.

Anyway, back to winter running. At some point, I did have a pair of ice cleats that I received as a gift or from a conference or a race or something. I can't even remember; it was a couple years ago. I never actually got around to using them. And, now I can't find them. They have to be in this apartment somewhere. My place isn't very big, and I'm not a terribly disorganized person. I'm too stubborn to pay money for something I already own. I'll keep looking. I have to think they'd help with the ice, or at least give me some more confidence.

Still, at 25 degrees with flurries far more pretty than irritating, winter so far has been quite mild up here in Vermont. The forecast for the upcoming week shows temperatures in the 30s. To me, that means another week of outdoor running. I think it's going to take negative temperatures, or more than 6" of snow, to get me back on a treadmill.

My time today for the 4-mile run was 39:50, 1:10 faster than yesterday. I really felt like I had it in me to go a bit faster. I was ready to practically sprint the final mile, but got slowed down by ice - as in, nearly falling, and having to stop completely to regain my balance. However, I never felt like I was in real danger of hurting myself. Just hurting my time.

another run, another lesson

Today was the fifth run of the week, closing the first week of base training. I cut my 4-mile time down from 45 minutes to 41 minutes (from 11:15/mile to 10:15/mile). If I can cut 4 minutes off every week, I'll be in a good place to start the real marathon training.

At the end of the run today, I felt like I could have run a few more miles, which tells me that I should have been running faster. I know one thing that slowed me down today was that the bike path appeared to be a bit slick. It snowed a couple inches on Thursday, and then rained today, so there were blotches of white all over. With the temperature hovering barely above freezing, I couldn't tell if it was ice or slush. Turns out it was mostly slush.

After my run, I began to wonder why exactly I slow down so much when I think it might be slippery. Will I really be less likely to fall, or sustain injury, if I'm running slower? I'm not sure if that's true. Running is going to be more dangerous than walking, no matter the speed. I should have more faith in my balance.

Today was also the first time this year I listened to music during my run. As a musician, this may come as a surprise. Really, it's just because I don't have good running headphones. The ear buds that came with my iPhone constantly fall out of my tiny ears. I ordered these headphones, based on good reviews from other small-eared folks, but I'm still awaiting delivery. During today's run, I pulled a hat on over the iPhone buds. It sort of worked, but I spent a lot of time pushing the music back into my ears.

Another lesson re-learned: I really need to make playlists before the run. Putting my entire song catalogue on shuffle, not liking a song mid-run, then removing a glove, pulling the iPhone out of my pocket, unlocking it, getting to the iPod app, and hitting skip until something good comes up = super awkward and time-killing.

Not that I'm trying to make excuses for my time. This is all part of the process, just like building the muscles, improving oxygen intake, etc. All these little details are part of training, it seems.

Next week (which starts tomorrow), I would like to focus more on increasing my speed. This week mostly felt like I was just trying to survive the run. During the last two runs, I haven't felt fatigue or any muscle aches, it's mainly my gasping for air that is keeping me from accelerating. Maybe next time I'll see how my heart rate is doing. I feel like I have a hard time telling when I starting too fast, or if it's the normal mild, yet constant, discomfort that comes with running, that I just have to get used to.

Perhaps most importantly, this run was the first this week where I did not experience any stomach issues - no cramps, no nausea, nothing. This is important and I need to make note of this. I had breakfast around 10:30am. I had 1 cup of black coffee, and kashi golden goodness cereal with almond milk and blueberries. In between 11 and 1, I drank a pint glass of water. The run started a little after 1, maybe 1:15. I noticed that I was slightly hungry when we started, which initially concerned me, like it might make me light headed, but that turned out to be a good thing. I think that's what I should aim for from now on - slightly hungry.

Week 1 of Training: Building the Base

Welcome to The Pensive Runner, a blog where I will write about all my trials and tribulations in training for the Burlington City Marathon, my second try at a marathon. I started this blog for a few reasons: I enjoy writing, I would like to keep record of what does and doesn't work, to help out other runners, and also so I have something to think about while I'm running. During my four-mile run today, I essentially wrote out this entire blog in my head. It made the time fly.

My first marathon was in 2010, also in Burlington. My time was 4:19 (9:50/mile). That's me in the yellow, #2069.*

For this year's marathon, I'm really hoping to break the 4 hour mark (aiming for 9-minute miles). I'm optimistic. During the 2010 marathon, I was at that pace until about mile 18, when I hit the wall. I stopped and walked. This is the second half of my goal for the 2012 marathon: run the entire time.

I have a few plans on how to reach my goals this year. Although I hardly ran at all during 2011, I do not feel as though I am starting from scratch. I learned a lot in 2010 that I will apply this year.

One of the biggest issues in 2010 was that I never completed a 20-mile run during training. I stopped and walked every time, and it was always for the same reason: severe stomach issues. This is something I will have to work on a lot more this year, and it likely will come up a lot in this blog.

Another big change this year is that I'm hoping to do as much training as possible outside. In 2010, there was a *ton* of treadmill running. It just isn't the same thing. The race it outside, you should train outside.

As a resident of Vermont, running outside is easier said than done. During this first week of training, I have run in 7-degree weather, and on 2 inches of snow. Dressing appropriately has made a huge difference, and something that I could not have done without shopping at Good Will. Some may feel weird about buying used workout gear, but seriously folks, I purchased what would retail for around $200 for about $20. Winter running tights, high-tech polyester shirts, gore-tex-like jackets, etc. This is a helpful link for figuring out what to wear based on the temperature. It's all personal preference, of course, but a good starting point for someone who is as new to winter running as I am.

So, I'll run outside when possible. There's a gym nearby that is pay-as-you-go (something like $8 a visit), so that's always an option when the snow gets ridiculous. Because that will happen, no doubt.

This first week is a base-building week. This means that, before you can start training for a marathon, you should be able to comfortably run 20 miles a week. That's what I learned from The Competitive Runner's Handbook, anyway. So, the month of January is devoted to just that: running 20 miles a week, or 4 miles a day 5 days a week (might change that to 5 miles a day 4 days a week towards the end of the month). Actual training will not begin until February. I'll get more into the training plan I'll be using in future posts.

This week has been tough. Like I mentioned, I have not run much at all in the past year. The first run (Sunday, New Year's Day) was brutal, although I did manage to run the entire time. I was very, very sore. Still am sore, mostly in the calves. It's kind of enjoyable in a way, like I feel like I've accomplished something. I suppose all marathon runners are a bit masochistic, eh? One more run this week, and then it's onto base week #2. My goal is that by the end of the month to be able to do a 4-mile run in under 32 minutes (8min/mile). My first run was about 45 minutes. I know I can do much better than that.

Before I end this first post, I just want to add that I am in no way a professional athlete (if that wasn't obvious!), and I am not in any position to be giving advice on training. All I can do is observe what works for me. I viewed myself as a very non-athletic person for a long time, mostly because I dislike team sports. Although I certainly do not have a "runner's body" (I think I'm about 15 pounds over the "ideal" marathon runner weight, and I'm totally fine with that), long-distance running is a good fit for my lifestyle and personality, and I'm glad it found it's way into my life.

*I would like to note that the green bibs indicate relay racers, i.e., people who only run a portion of the marathon. One of my frustrations with the Burlington marathon is running side-by-side with the relay racers. It can be a bit discouraging to be hitting the wall on your 20th mile and seeing people fly by you because they just jumped into the race.