Tails of Falibility

I've been rather awful about updating this blog during this training season. As it turns out, I'm less than a week from the Marathon. It's this upcoming Sunday, on October 6th.

I'm feeling pretty good about it. Although this is my third marathon, it wasn't until this year's training that I actually ran 22 miles without stopping to walk. I'm feeling more confident than in previous years that I'm actually going to run the whole thing. I'm hoping to get under 4:15 for my total time. 

Yesterday I had what should have been my last long run before the 26.2. An 8 miler. I didn't quite make it. 

The tricky thing about training for a marathon, especially when I'm doing some real training, not the minimalist 3-day-a-week training I did last year, is the toll it takes on your social life. With a 22 mile run Sunday morning, you really can't go out Saturday night. In fact, your Sunday is pretty much ruined as well. While living in mostly sleepy central VT, this really only was an issue when it came to band practices and gigs. 

However, a month and a half ago, I moved to Boston. Back to my home state, where I'm getting invited to family gatherings and parties and BBQs and friends events at a level I am far from adjusted to. I hate to complain about this, and I'm really not. It's one of the best things about this area that allows me to put up with the traffic and the higher rent and lack of maple syrup. But, as I moved at pretty much the height of my training, I've certainly had to turn down more events than I've wanted to. 

Since the 22-mile run a couple weeks ago, I've been tapering, cutting the mileage way back before the big day. This last weekend was actually the first weekend since I've been here where I've gone out on both Friday and Saturday nights. 

This is not an excuse for my Sunday performance, but more of a demonstration as to where my head was at. 

So, right, not much sleep Friday. Got home late-ish Saturday night, but woke up at 7am anyway, thanks to LTB and my internal clock. Slow to get out the door, the morning was as foggy as my brain. My glasses kept getting all steamed up (oh yeah, I tore my last pair of contacts while camping a month or so ago, so I've been running with glasses and it's not great). Eventually, I took my glasses off and held them in my hand, because I could actually see better without them. I was sluggish, but the endorphins started pumping around the end of the second mile. 

I started thinking about how relatively smoothly this training had gone. I stayed well-hydrated throughout all the runs, had pretty much no injuries, and somehow didn't miss a run while moving to a new state. I found a great running route very quickly and accidentally - a sweet little 5-mile loop around a pond. And, unlike central VT, there's sidewalks everywhere and roads going in so many directions, it's wicked easy to come up with a million new routes. 

Anyway, at some point while basking in my invincibility, I was looking in the distance, trying to figure out what the blurry blue object was moving towards me - another runner? a bike? 

Then, my foot caught on ... something. I'll never know what, but what came after that moved in slow motion. A quick jolt in my center of gravity, followed by some embarrassment yet feeling confident that I can quickly recover and continue to move forward, er, no, here comes the ground, moving towards my face faster than my legs can move, and my glasses are flying down the sidewalk.* And now I'm on the ground and concerned runners are surrounding me. "I'm ok!" I yelp, seconds before I've even figured out if I can even stand up. I can. 

Oh, the looks of horror. "Do you have someone you can call?" "Yep!" I stay positive and want them to leave me alone. Why is this always my first reaction when I'm hurt - to try to get people to leave me alone? I reassure them that I have someone to call, and thank them for stopping, and start to mess around with my phone like I'm going to call someone. After asking if I'm ok five more times, they continue with their runs. 

Finally, I look down, there's blood. It's running down my leg pretty fast. My wrist is a bloody mess. Although I have friends and family in the area, all I can think is that LTB is on his run as well. He left a little before me - is he home by now? I'm shaken up and having trouble thinking straight. I check my nike running app and see that I've run about 2.5 miles, meaning I'm 2.5 miles from home. I text LTB and start walking. I know there's a hospital near by, and wonder the bleeding is going to stop on its own. And then I wonder if my health insurance even works in this state. Every runner that passes me gives me another unwelcome horrified look. 

Screw it, I think, I just need to get home as fast as possible. I start running. I'm all adrenaline at this point and the miles fly by. Nearing home, I begin to think I should just run the additional 3 miles and finish up the 8 mile run like a champ, until the fear of bleeding out and infections and medical bills catches up to me. 

When I got home, I was feeling upset. Disappointed in not finishing the run. Mad at my lack of invincibility. Embarrassed by my vulnerability. I did not want to get in the shower, which I knew would be awful, so I decided to procrastinate and document my downfall. 

Here's some bloody pictures behind the cut. Don't click if you don't want to see blood. 

Argh Hills!

It's official: I've signed up for the Maine Marathon. 153 days to go. The weather is warming up, almost as if we jumped right from winter to summer, but I know it's going to get a lot worse by the time training gets intense. Hydration is going to be a HUGE issue. After doing a bit of research, I'm planning on picking up 20 oz. Amphipod hand-held water bottle. I can't take the water belt any more. I put in on for a 5-miler last week, and was surprised by how bulky and uncomfortable it was. Did I really run an entire marathon with that thing? I'm over it. I'm hoping the handheld option will be better.

 I'm excited about the Nike+ Running App I've been using to track my runs. It's free, and for the data-usage-conscious, it uses maybe 2 MB/hour. It provides SO many stats, and the leadership board is kind of addictive and encouraging. Definitely recommended.

Today's run was the longest one yet this year - 6 miles. Since the last marathon, I've relocated to central VT, where it's incredibly beautiful and there's a lot less cars, but WAY hillier. I've been taking on this route towards Sugarbush, and the hills are RIDICULOUS, and kind of just keep going for miles and miles. It almost makes me miss that one little half-mile hill on Battery Street in Burlington. One way or another, I'm going to have to make my peace with hills.

On the way back down. This hill just keeps going forever.

I was happy to get in the 6 miles today, but not ecstatic about my pace. I'm not going to make excuses. My fastest 5-miler so far was 9:07/mile, last Tuesday. Since then, I haven't been able to get back to it. I really want to be able to do 5 miles in under 45 minutes, and I think I can make it happen - particularly if I keep training on these hills!

I do know that mindset is more important than anything. The mantra I am repeating to myself, which admittedly was most prominent in my mind during the 9-minute miles, is "mile 20 is going to be way harder than this." It somehow puts things in perspective, knowing that the more I push myself now, the more it will pay off later.

Have I mentioned that the "official" training doesn't even start until June?

Running Shape

With my eye on the Maine marathon in October, I started running again this week. I had an awfully lethargic winter, as it sometimes happens with folks like me who live in the northeast but don't ski or do many outdoor winter activities. I did a good amount of yoga, but before this week, my last run was likely in November, I think, maybe even October.

I decided I needed to get back into "running shape" a bit further in advance than I did last year. I won't start the real training until June, which gives me 3 months. Last year, I only gave myself a month of consistent running, which I think is what led to some of my injuries, as well as feeling less prepared overall throughout training.

This time around, I'm planning on following the Hal Higdon Training Program - Intermediate 1. I found out about this program from the Runner's World Forum, and it came highly recommended from many marathon runners. It looks great to me because I prefer to run more days than not running, and this doesn't involve any speed training, which, honestly, I really don't like and tend to half-ass. Also, it allows for cross-training once a week, which allows me time to do yoga and/or disc golf, which makes me happy.

My first run of the year was a 2-miler on Saturday. While slow, it was actually pretty fun. I was incredibly sore on Sunday, and slightly less sore today. Today I went for a 3-mile run, and let me tell you, it is still very much winter here. It's around 25 degrees, which wasn't too bad, but the wind chill was awful, particularly on the second half of the run. That coupled with feeling like I was going to lose my lunch for the last mile (my body abruptly reminding me that dairy and running are an awful combination), today's run was less than spectacular. I felt like I was crawling the last mile, barely above walking speed.

It's good to get this down so I can look back and remember that, at one time, running 3 miles was quite a challenge. But I know I'll get back into running shape in no time, because bodies are amazing like that. It's a wonderful reminder of how temporary discomfort often turns out to be, and how well I can adapt if I stick to it. Life metaphors, blahblahblah.

The Barefoot Runner

I never got around to my post-marathon-post, did I?

Well, to be honest, I wasn't happy with my marathon performance.  I was about 20 minutes slower than the year before.  I started too fast, I hit the wall earlier, and I didn't have a good time.  I felt pretty disappointed and defeated, unsure if I would ever go through this process again.  I stopped running for several months.

Fast forward to this week. LTB and I drove cross-country to see his family.  We always drive, as travel can be a lot more fun when you don't treat it like something that has to be done and over with as soon as possible.  One of the benefits is that we listen to a lot of audio books, and it's really great to experience a book with someone else in real time, pausing the mp3 every so often to share thoughts and comments.

One of the books we listened to was Born to Run, by Christopher McDougall.  What an absolutely fantastic book.  I definitely recommend it to every runner, and everyone who thinks they hate running.

I think Amazon can summarize the book better than me, but what I took away from it is that my approach to running this last marathon was all wrong. I kept trying to figure out ways to distract myself from what I was doing -- listening to music, planning out my day, writing lyrics in my head -- anything but being present in the moment. Throughout training, running felt like something I had to get over with, something in the way of the rest of my life. Too focused on times and outcomes instead of paying attention to the moment.

So completely off from where I need to be.  Today, LTB and I went for a run in the woods.  No watches, no iPods, no expectations. I took my shoes off a little ways in.  Barefoot, as in, naked feet.  It felt amazing, invigorating. My knee pain, which reappeared as soon as I hit the trail in my sneakers, disappeared as soon as I slipped my shoes off.  I felt like a kid again, and remembered that running is freaking fun and we are designed to do this.  We ran for about an hour, slipping my shoes on and off periodically, after barely working out for months.  I felt so completely in the moment.  Because, when you're dodging pointy sticks on the path, it's kind of impossible to think about anything else.  

It'll take a while before I can run with bare feet for any significant amount of time, but I am really into it.  I'm usually quite suspicious and very reluctant to follow trends. This feels right to me.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Right now, I got my eye on the Portland, Maine 2013 marathon.  It's at the end of September, so training isn't through the winter.  Maybe I'll do it barefoot.  But, I should probably run barefoot more than 20 minutes before I make any bold statements.

Get me to the finish line, Lady Gaga

This time tomorrow, the marathon will be over. Ready or not, I'm running 26.2 miles.

I'm feeling pretty great, actually.  For the last couple runs this week, I felt energized, light on my feet, and more excited than panicked.  The speed training on Wednesday involved a series of 400 meter sprints, which I ran faster than I have throughout this entire training.  Each 400 around 1:40-1:50 -- not terribly fast for a sprinter, but great for me.

Sporting my new KBVCM shirt before my final run

Today I did a quick 3-mile run.  They say it's good to run the day before the race, so I saved this one for today.  I was supposed to run it at my planned marathon pace, which felt soooo slow for a 3-mile run.

It's fairly warm and humid again today (around 80° right now), and breathing wasn't entirely comfortable.
Tomorrow's high is 76 and partly cloudy.  It looks like it'll be in the 50s for the start of the run, which is absolutely perfect.  I'm grateful.  The hard thing with this training is that the majority of it seemed to be in the winter, or at least cool spring weather.  I don't feel like I've had enough time to get used to running in the heat.  I'm not quite sure how to deal with this for future marathons, when we may not be so lucky with the weather.

The rest of this day will involve consuming tons of water and gatorade, eating carbs, stretching, and not doing much else.

For the marathon, I decided that I'm going to listen to music for the last half.  Last time, I didn't listen to music at all, believing the crowd would adequately energize me.  Unfortunately, after 13 or so miles, the cheers from the bystanders become more annoying than motivating, and I mostly want to be left alone.  The idea is that when I start up my playlist, it will reset my mindset.

Behind the cut is my well thought out, tested throughout training, and slightly embarrassing list of songs that will get me to to the finish line.  I've never listened to so much pop music before this year's training.  At least I balanced it out with some pre-nose-job Hole.

This two-hour long play list will not be played in order.  I'm all about the shuffle.  You know, the list seems to be too short, but Spotify says it's 2 hours.  It is somehow comforting that 2 hours of music doesn't look like that much.

I think I may need to go back and add some Dolly Parton.

running out of time

Holy crap, the marathon is one week from today.  I have no idea where the time went, and I can't really believe it's going to happen.

The last couple weeks have been a little rough.  Ever since the 20 mile run 2 weeks ago, my energy level has gone way down.  However, I did complete the 20 mile run!  This is huge as I actually never completed a 20-mile run (without stopping to walk), well, ever.  During the training two years ago, I never made it past 17 miles.  Even during the marathon, I walked/ran the last 8 miles.  It felt good.  Exhausting, of course, but I felt prepared for it.

I did, however, run out of water and stopped in a corner store at the 17.5 mile mark to buy a gatorade.  That whole experience was strange.  I feel completely insane after running anything more than 15 miles.  But, as soon as I had my gatorade, I finished the last 2.5 miles no problem.

The following week, I began to show signs of overtraining - heavy legs, increased perceived exertion, and probably the worst bit was being rather unmotivated to run the longer runs.  Fearing that I may have already peaked, I cut back my running a little bit this week.  I played a few rounds of disc golf in place of one of the runs.

Then, I headed down to Montpelier to run in a 5K on Thursday, which was interesting.  My time was not fantastic - something like 27:30 (8:50ish mile).  I really should be running a 5K closer to 25 minutes, but I suppose that's not what I've been training for.  It was hard to get the right pace, and there were SO many people it was tricky to pass.  The nice thing about the marathon is that there's plenty of time for the crowd to space out.  The first 2 or 3 miles are a bit cramped and chaotic, with slower folks moving way too closer to the start line and faster runners underestimating themselves.

Today I attempted to run 8 miles.  I started too late in the morning, and it got way too hot and humid.  At the moment, it's a cozy 87 degrees.  I made it 6.5 miles before I stopped to walk.  I just felt like I couldn't breathe and I was going to pass out.  I really hope it's not this hot next Sunday.  I don't know what I'll do, besides drink an absurd amount of water.  Right now, wunderground is showing a high of 70 and partly cloudy for marathon day.  I can live with that, but what the hell do they know this far in advance?

At the moment I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit discouraged and anxious about the marathon.  With the fatigue, and the lousy 5K, and today's run, I'm afraid of failure, although I'm not sure exactly what that means apart from a DNF.  I do believe I am stubborn enough to get to that finish line one way or another, even if I'm finishing on my knees.

I have readjusted my goals.  Originally I wanted to finish the marathon in under 4 hours.  With how training has been going, I think that 4:15 (9:44/mile) is more realistic, and still faster than 2009's time.  More than that, I want to run the entire time (apart from slowing/stopping to drink liquids, of course).  That is the main goal.  They do have pace leaders at the marathon.  Last time I couldn't actually FIND them, but I will make more of an effort this time.

Sigh.  I can do this, right?

Hills and Frills

Following last week's 16-mile run, I had a bit of a breather with a 12-mile run yesterday. It's strange to think that I'm now at the point that 12 miles doesn't feel like a big deal. However, I'm not thrilled about next week's 18-mile run. That sounds impossible. Will I ever stop thinking like this?

Poor LTB's feet are in bad shape. He went down to PA to visit some friends for a few days and returned without his sneakers. His friend will ship them back, but we still had the 16-miler to contend with. Like a rockstar, LTB slipped on his Vibram FiveFingers and hit the pavement. He got the barefoot shoes last summer and has walked all over town with him, but this was the first time he ran for a long distance.

I don't know how, but he made it 14 miles before he started walking, practically leaving a trail of blood on the sidewalk. He took pictures upon returning home, but I'll save you the gross-out and post the day-after-bandaged-feet instead.

He's managed to continue with all the scheduled runs, and he's slowly healing. Blisters are the worst. A few weeks ago, I had some bad ones on the back of my heels thanks to my fairly new Doc Martins, and then my sock slipped down my heel at some point during the run. It hurt a lot, but enough to block it out and continue running. By the time I got home my sock was soaked in blood. That's alway nice to see. Ah, the joys of running.

A weird thing happened during yesterday's run. It was a Saturday, which meant there lots of people downtown, and lots of bikers, pedestrians, dogs, etc. on the bike path. I turned the corner onto the waterfront path, and suddenly found myself surrounded by runners with bibs pinned to their clothing. I suddenly panicked, feeling for sure that I was not where I was supposed to be, and someone would be escorting me off the path at any second.

Not to worry, it was the Burlington Unplugged half-marathon. I actually ran this a couple years ago, and remembered my frustrations with the number of non-racers on the path. That's kind of the deal with this race. I thought about doing it again this year, but wanted to save the money, and completely forgot about it until I was pretty much in it.

It was kind of fun. Conveniently, I was running 12 miles, about the length of the race. People were cheering on, trying to pass me, handing out water (I didn't take any, feeling certain someone would call me a fraud. 4 miles later, when I ran out of my water and off the race path, I regretted this decision).

My times have been ... acceptable. I don't feel I'm as fast as I want to be, and I'm afraid I won't make my sub-4-hour goal. For long runs, I'm closer to 10 minutes/mile than 9:10. I know I still have time, and ultimately, I think it's more important that I finish the thing and run the whole time without any injury.

I have noticed that when I do time my runs (which I do most of the time), my minutes per mile is definitely related to the changes in elevation, which I suppose is not too surprising. I'm also not sure if I've measured my miles correctly, but that's a different story. So, when I'm running a mile that's level or downhill, I can do it under 9 minutes, even if I'm on my 11th mile (the 15th mile may be a different story). However, the hill on Battery Street? The 6-block half-mile hill that is the bane of my existence? That takes that mile up to like 10:15.

Obviously there's hills in the marathon, including the Assault on Battery. I don't even know how I managed to do the first half of the 2010 marathon in under 2 hours. But I did. Let's see if I can do it again.